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MOMENTS
Boys and their minds are fascinating. This week we asked: “Would a woman’s difficult past keep you from pursuing her if you didn’t previously know her?”
Your past doesn’t define you. Just as Jesus forgives us of all our sins, you yourself should do the same.
Can I be real with you? It’s been difficult growing up as a Christian girl. Becoming a woman of God certainly throws challenges along the way with family, friendships, relationships, circumstances, and basically everything else in between. I know personally, I’ve been stretched to my breaking point and have fallen short of the person I have set myself up to be and become.
But do I allow my faults and failures to define who I am as a person?
Do I constantly have to question whether or not I’m a good enough Christian because of my past?
The answer is no!
Whether or not you have a super squeaky clean track record, or have had some major roadblocks along the way; have known Jesus from the time you were born or have just recently given your life to Him; been fully on fire for God since you can remember or have doubted your faith a few times, our past somehow always tends to define us…
…to be the thing carrying us when really we should be the ones that carry it.
In a world where us single girls are wondering when and if prince charming will ever reveal himself; wondering if the crappy things I’ve done to myself and to others will affect this said prince charming finding me, we look at our past to define part of our identity in the present. [This counts for you ladies dating as well: is your current prince charming someone you’ve settled for because you’re scared of your past? Or maybe someone you think will stick around for the long haul?]
While every guy is different in how this subject affects their relationships, we went straight to 3 really awesome guys that are sold out for Jesus to see just what their thoughts were.
Here are their answers:
“It depends on the person to me. If she wears her past like a badge of honor, then it’d be a no for me. But if she talks about her past as a means to share God’s grace and His impact on her story, it’s genuine. And if her current life reflects consistency and maturity from that situation, then I see no problem (and to a point, it is almost attractive). I have to remind myself that I have not had that best past either. I have made plenty of mistakes myself and it is because of grace that I am whole again. So who am I to judge?”
“No, I don’t believe that God allows my past to determine my future, so I would never hold someone’s past over them. However, a rough past can present its challenges [if not dealt with in a healthy manner].”
“If my wife’s past prevented me from pursuing her then I would be a hypocrite as a Christian. Again, as Christians we don’t dwell in the past but look forward. We look back to remember where we came from and we look forward to who has called us from that. So for me to deny pursuit towards her because of her past would suggest that I believe that Christ denies pursuit towards people because they haven’t gotten their act together yet. Christ calls us to love the least of these, just as he loved us while we were still sinners.“
I think we all are due for a reality check… but only the kind that truly defines our reality – Jesus. Think about what scripture tells us about our past:
Over and over again, Jesus says COME!
It’s all about Jesus. He loves, He forgives, He sees no wrong because of just how valuable you are to Him.
He loves you.
I truly believe that when we start to see ourselves as God sees us, a new creation, we will walk confidently towards our bright and beautiful futures–not forgetting about our pasts, but remembering them only so we will be challenged to keep growing and digging in our pursuits of the Most Holy. Christ made us to be relational beings; we were created to love. And “love sees no faults.”
While it’s easy to get stuck in a worldly mindset, telling yourself you’re broken and tainted by who you were, remember who you are first and foremost in Jesus’ eyes.
The man of your dreams is walking the earth, loving the Lord and loving people. In the meantime, be both expectant and open for God to shape those rough areas of your life. But don’t forget to BE FULLY YOU! You’re the best you – you can be 🙂
xoxo,
Sarra
P.S. If you want to learn more about our panel of dudes, you can do so here! They are going to be our panel for the next few weeks, so it maybe fun to get to know them a little better!
Our Hub Contributors are women who share their passion and perspective with us by writing articles for our HUB. We love opening up our platform to create space to hear other voices and let our audience be discipled by a variety of people. If you are interested in writing for the HUB, please send us an email at livesalted@gmail.com.
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