Finding Balance: Managing Your “Yes” Capacity

By Allyson Golden

Ever heard of the yes-boat? Probably not, because I made it up! Picture a boat, and that boat is you. It represents how much space you have to give of yourself. Everything you say yes to is a weighted package that gets thrown onto the boat. Your boat has a maximum capacity of what it can hold before it begins to get too heavy and sink. There must be an even balance of weight on the boat for it to function at its best. Through various stages of life, your capacity might change. Depending on your circumstances, you might find yourself capable of managing a larger boat, or you might need to downgrade to something smaller.

Sometimes we need a mental image to understand things better. I know I do. The important thing to assess here is, what is your yes-capacity? Are there too many packages on your boat right now? Do you feel on the verge of sinking or do you already feel the water pouring in? Maybe you need to get rid of some of the packages on the boat. Maybe there are some packages on the way that need to stay off the boat. What is your boat’s capacity at this moment? In what place is your heart, mind, body and soul?

The first 6 months after I graduated college I was studying to take my NCLEX to become a nurse, searching for a job, working as a caregiver, directing a children’s ministry, and all while adjusting to the life-changes that happen in post-grad life. 

It was A LOT. I then started my first nursing job, got engaged one month after I started my new job, and immediately began planning a wedding while managing the other roles and commitments already on my plate. I was having a really hard time saying “no” in that season. I deeply desired to live life with purpose, so I thought that the more I did, the more purpose I had. 

I see now that I was placing my purpose in my performance rather than in my heavenly Provider. 

It was a few months into my new job that I began feeling burnt out. Not burnt out from being a nurse, but burnt out on everything else surrounding it. In the first few months of nursing, every week was the same. I took one, 4-hour class, and put in three, 12 hour shifts. On top of that, I was rotating back and forth from day shifts to night shifts so my body was having a hard time adjusting. I was lesson planning for Sunday services, planning my wedding, and dealing internally with learning what life after college was truly like. I pushed my time with Jesus aside for all the things I had to get done. I was tired. I was burnt out. I was sinking. I needed to get rid of some packages on my boat.

I had over-extended myself. When it got to be too much, I stepped down from my role in the church as the children’s director. Getting to this point was a wake-up call to how often I was saying “yes” and placing my identity in the things I was doing rather than in the One I am serving. I was trying to take control of my life on my own rather than placing my needs at the feet of Jesus and resting in Him. 

Fast forward a little less than a year to the beginning of 2020 and God vividly spoke to me that my word of the year was going to be “Rest.” It’s crazy now looking back at this year to see how much I have learned about what TRUE rest in Jesus is. 

Somebody Throw Me a Life Preserver

“The Lord is my best friend and my shepherd. I always have more than enough. He offers a resting place for me in his luxurious love. His tracks take me to an oasis of peace, the quiet brook of bliss. That’s where he restores and revives my life. He opens before me pathways to God’s pleasure and leads me along in his footsteps of righteousness so that I can bring honor to his name. Lord, even when your path takes me through the valley of deepest darkness, fear will never conquer me, for you already have! You remain close to me and lead me through it all the way. Your authority is my strength and my peace. The comfort of your love takes away my fear. I’ll never be lonely, for you are near.” Psalm 23:1-4 TPT

“The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters, He refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” Psalm 23:1-4 NIV

This verse has taught me so much about rest in Jesus. I have read this verse before in my life, but this time God has been enlightening my mind to a new meaning of rest that I haven’t understood before. 

“The Lord is my best friend and my shepherd.” When I picture a best friend, I picture someone who knows everything about me and accepts me as I am. That is who God is to us, but compared to a human best friend who is flawed, God is perfect! He sees you as you are, and loves you as you are. Since he loves you and knows you so well He will shepherd you in the direction that He knows is best for you! I love how this chapter starts out with that sweet reminder. 

“He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul.” Picture your perfect peace place? Where is that place in your mind? Ironically for me, when I picture my place where I feel most at peace, it is by a lake surrounded by beautiful green & wildflower pastures. That is a place where my mind, body and soul feel at peace. That feeling of peace is the peace that is offered to us daily when we rest in Him. He refreshes our soul, He revives our life, when we bring all that we are to Him. His peace surpasses all understanding.

What Does it Mean to Rest in the Lord? How Can We Actively Rest in Him? 

True rest comes when we set aside time to sit in God’s presence. This can look like waking up early and reading the Bible, listening to worship music, going for a walk, sitting in silence, or journaling and speaking His truth over ourselves. It can also be done any time of the day, but there is something special and rejuvenating when starting the day the Lord has made by resting in Him and speaking His truth. He wants everything that you are. As we lean into His character and surrender our full selves to Him, trusting in Him, He will cover us with peace.

How Crowded is Your Boat Right Now?

Maybe you are at a spot in your life where your yes-boat is at maximum capacity. You feel rushed, far away from feeling “rested”, and you are yearning for that peace. 

Bring those thoughts and feelings to God, lay them at His feet, and ask him for direction. There is so much bravery in saying “no.”

Remember that you are just one human, and your capacity is going to be different than others, and that is okay. 

Give yourself grace. God already loves you as you are, right where you are. If your boat has ten packages, He will love you just the same with two packages. His love for you is not dependent on your performance. He wants you to rest with Him in green pastures.