Have you bought into the lie that your worth comes from being loved by a man rather than being loved by the One who came and died for you?

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Living Worthy: This is Living Part 2

Diana Marie Arnold

“I still love you,” I half-whispered, unwanted tears streaming down my face, becoming small, my own arms wrapped tightly around myself as if they knew how I yearned to be protected, to be held. There I stood, still crushed – years later – by the aftermath of that heart-rending breakup. Our unexpected collision filled my bones with false hope, I wanted so badly to believe that we were meant to be after all. After melting into his warm smile on that crisp Chicago night, with equal parts moonlight and neon dancing off the street just right, I couldn’t help myself.

The words jumped from my heart to my mouth and fell right out before I could quickly shove them into my coat pocket, unnoticed. They had escaped, and now they were hanging out in plain sight, for all to see. In shock, all I could do was look down at his feet, assuming that the words had made their way somewhere between his left shoe and the Uber that was loading a few late-nighters about five feet behind him. But in that bustling city street, all I found in that moment was complete and utter silence. Slowly, I lifted my chin to catch his reaction, wincing a bit. With a pitiful look, he took a deep breath and took mine away, “someday, you’ll find someone who loves you.”

To this day, I can still look back and feel the absolute hollowness of my heart on that night. Somewhere along the way of life, I bought into the lie that my worth came from being known and loved by a man. Thank God that it doesn’t and my worth resides in being God’s!

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Living Worthy

In this world, hurt is inevitable. The guy says he’s not in love with you. Your dream college doesn’t accept you. The baby you’ve been praying for is met with an empty womb. After enduring the pain, it can be easier to build walls around our hearts instead of exposing them. But, that restless desire to be known and loved still endures. We begin to take on characteristics that aren’t aligned with who we are simply because we believe that it’s what will finally fill that empty gap, what will finally make us enough.

Although that can feel good for a moment, it isn’t lasting. Love isn’t truly love unless it can look at the worst of you – past all pretense, all the sin, all the hot-messiness – and still say, I will stand by you.

Christ’s love sees every flaw and shortcoming and has chosen to love us anyway. We aren’t loved only for the shiny pieces, but for every last broken bit. We look for this kind of love everywhere, in every worldly thing, and although it can feel real for a period of time, we end up disappointed. Every. Single. Time. Even in marriage, we will always be disappointed by our husbands if we expect them to love us the way only He can. Jesus is the only one who loves us in a way that sets us free. We don’t have to do anything or become anyone other than who we are in this moment in order to deserve it.

Let’s get back to the (seriously embarrassing) story that I was telling you at the beginning of this post. Just a couple of weeks after having my heart shattered into a million pieces, for what seemed like the millionth time, I finally found love. But it wasn’t just any old “love.”

This love is totally different. It’s complete, certain, a sure thing. It isn’t anxious or ashamed of me. This love not only defines me, it refines me, it redeems me. It doesn’t shrink back due to insecurity, it doesn’t puff up to overcompensate, it is fully secure. In the assurance of this love, I rest. In the fullness of this love, I am finally free. I am found.

This love is Jesus, Himself.

The more that we study Jesus’ bravery, the more that we discover the true nature of His love. He never holds Himself at an arm’s length. He doesn’t tease us. Rather, He invites us completely in. He surrounds us, seals us, and gives us His whole self, that we shall not want for anything else (Psalm 23:1).

Psalm 139:1 wraps this up beautifully:

“O Lord, you have searched me and you know me.”

He knows you better than you’ll ever know yourself, the pieces that you love, and the pieces that you’d rather forget. And still, He loves you, wildly.

You, m’dear, are worthy. Not for what you do, not for the number on the scale, not for how many guys are lighting up your phone, not for the amount in your bank account. But only because of Whose you are… His.

I lived my whole life waiting to feel worthy. I didn’t understand it at the time, but without Jesus, all I did was question my worth. I either felt like I wasn’t enough or I was too much. I didn’t understand the fullness of who I was in Christ, so I kept searching for someone or something to make me feel worthy, I looked to guys and fame to feel worthy, to feel loved. But when Jesus came in, He crushed those beliefs. He showed me that all I needed to do in order to know my worth was to look at the cross.

We don’t have to prove our worthiness to the world anymore, because Jesus proved it to us on the cross. We don’t have to strive or try. We don’t have to pursue in order to find our worth, it’s already been claimed. Jesus has done all of the work for us so that we are no longer bound by the chains of insecurity or not-enough-ness. He paid it all so that we could say this is living.

So now, it is YOUR turn to take the time to truly believe you are worthy not because of what you have done or anything you will do, but WHOSE you are and WHO you are. You are WORTHY because God has called you worthy. Believe it!

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This Is Living Series

This four-part series is titled “This Is Living” because when we release the things of this world that we are trying to find fulfillment in and decide to place our lives into the hands of the Father, then we can truly come to life. We once were lost and now we’re found. Life becomes so much more about Him than it is about us. When we come alive in Him we can truly say, this is living.

Other posts in this series:

• Living Redeemed
• Living Intimately
• Living Whole